This Just in: Suns will NOT make the playoffs

The sluggish Phoenix Suns are just 2 and 1/2 games away from being out of the playoffs. Ever since the Marion trade to Miami for "the big cactus" the team has been exposed.

With Marion, the Suns just seemed to be hard to beat. Without him, they are as fragile as my 92 year old grandma. People have all of a sudden realized that Nash turns the ball over and cannot play a lick of D. Raja Bell cannot do anything but make wide open jumpers 40 percent of the time, and play average D. Barbosa is quick, and.... um.. well he's quick. Every game, every minute, every step, Grant hill is that much closer to blowing out his ankle, and out for the remainder of the season. Amare is a stud, but he relies way too much on Nash to be affective.

Since Shaq has started playing for the Suns, they are 3 and 6. They went from outscoring teams by 7 points a night to being outscored by 3 points a night. They are still scoring the same amount, but their defense has gotten significantly worse. Isn't that the main reason as to why they Suns wanted him in the first place? To make them tougher in the paint? Teams are realizing that they can run on the suns due to their terrible transition D, and Nash's inability to guard anyone. Its not even Nashs' fault. I mean come on! He's a 35 year old, 6 foot 3 inch white guy, 170 lb, soccer player. Why would anyone expect him to even be physically able to play D? So Nash isn't the problem. He's never been able to play D but that didn't stop the Suns from winning the majority of their games pre-Shaq.

Yes thats right, the problem is Shaq. I personally am glad to see him struggle. True he is going through a rough divorce but i have a feeling he knew that was coming. What he didn't see coming was how much worse he would make the Suns. Fans went from shouting "Big Cactus" to shouting "Fat Loser-No one Likes You"

Denver with consecutive victories versus the Suns and Spurs are my prediction to get into the playoffs over the Suns.

Timberwolves VS Utah

After wrapping up their most impressive win of the season against the hottest team in the leauge, Timberwolves MVP Kirk Snyder only had one thing to say "I'm Back".

I must admit that i was wrong about criticizing the organization for trading away Gerald Green. After reflecting more on the issue i realized i hated Gerald Green. Not so much Gerald as a person, but Gerald as a head and a headband and the way that headband sat on his head. I mean talk about a downer.

Captain Kirk, as i will call him from this point on, demonstrated the ability to read and write, something Gerald never showed us.

On a sadder note, Mark Madsen is no where to be found. Rumor has it he is seeing Brittney Spears.

What were they thinking?

Are you serious? Trading away the future of our team for Kirk Snyder? Has anyone even heard of this player? I personally have not, so i googled his name. I pressed enter and "did you mean Burt Reynolds" came up. What the heck?!?!?! We traded away our 3rd best player for someone google does not even recognize as existing? I'm sorry but this trade makes no sense.

MN Timberwolves Update

First of all i want to apologize to all my readers for not writing the past week or so. Second off i want to say How about them Wolves!!!! Even though they are currently on a 3 game losing streak, spirits could not be any higher. The buzz in the locker room after todays game was that surrounding Greg Buckner. Greg was reportedly able to finally beat Pokemon Silver. As one can imagine, Buckner was all smiles as teammates and friends huddled around his locker congratulating him.

The Timberwolves lost by 23 points today. The playoffs are within reach.

NY Giants VS Patriots

What a good super bowl. Both teams played hard but in the end it was the Giants who came out on top. Al Jefferson to no ones surprise was named MVP of the game.

Timberwolves VS Clippers

Not much to say about this victory. It was easy. Predictable. Effortless. Al Jefferson, Randy Foye, Greg Buckner, Mark Madsen, Rashad McCants, and 2 assistant coaches were seen huddled around a portable DVD player midway through the 4th quarter watching Meet the Robinsons, while the rest of their teammates cruised to their second win in a row.

During 2 free throws by the clippers in the last frame, Minnesota's Corey brewer reportedly made a phone call. We were able to catch up with Tim Thomas to fill us in on exactly what happened. "Yeah, he grabbed a phone out of his shoe and made dinner reservations for after the game". Said a bewildered Thomas.

The Wolves have a couple days off before they take on the Yao Ming's.

No love for big Al

Its beyond me why Al Jefferson will not be playing in the all star game. There are only 2 players in the league right now averaging more than 20 and 12. He's second behind Dwight Howard in double doubles's. True he doesn't have a girl friend but i would hate to have that be the deciding factor. I have not seen a robbery of this magnitude since Meet the Robinson's was denied an Oscar nomination. You can bet your money that AJ will be playing the second half of the season with the passion of Christ.

Budding star Michael Doleac was also surprised of Al Jefferson's absence but even more over his own all star snubbing. "I thought i was a shoe in" said Doleac.

As for tonights game, its not on TV. More than likely due to the fact that Sam Cassell is hideous.

My prediction for tonights game is timberwolves 106-88. I also predict Chris Kaman will have a mental breakdown and confess to being the real killer in the OJ Simpson case.

Timberwolves VS Bulls

39 points 15 rebounds

15 points 5 rebounds

40 points 19 rebounds

20 points 12 rebounds

26 points 20 rebounds

No these are not Wilt Chamberlain stats. No they are not KG's numbers. These are the stats from the last 5 games of Timberwolves Al Jefferson. Al Jefferson is 23 years old but plays with the savvy of Bo Outlaw. He has more low post moves than Donald Trump. Jefferson is hotter than Meet the Robinsons. He should win an Oscar. Call him windex cuz all he does is clean the glass. Call him butter, cuz he's on a roll. Call him a ghost, cuz he's crossin cats over. Call him doughnuts, cuz he likes to dunk. Call him Thomas Jefferson cuz he's our leader. 

Sea Bass also poured in 10 assists and the Timberwolves easily won this game. No big surprise here. Just another day and another victory for the hottest team on earth. 

Timberwolves VS Bulls

Tonights game marked the triumphant comeback of 5 time all-star Randy Foye.

Foye emerged from the ceiling rafters riding a magic carpet midway through the first quarter. He received a standing ovation from the Chicago fans. Foye scored 11 points in 18 minutes of action on a variety of jump shots and drives to the basket. From watching this game, it is clear to see that he is 100 percent recovered from his battle with Alzheimers.

After the game coach Wittman said "basketball is not about wins and losses. Its about the friends you make"

The Timberwolves play the Chicago Bulls again tomorrow night at the Target Center.

Randy Foye VS Brandon Roy

I'm so sick of people criticizing the Timberwolves organization for trading Brandon Roy for Randy Foye on draft night. Kevin McHale is a genius, don't ever question him.

Timberwolves VS New Jersey

The Timberwolves picked up an easy win tonight versus the New Jersey Nets. As expected, the Wolves dominated the Nets in every aspect of the game including jumping, rebounding, scoring, and running. 

The unsung hero of tonight game was emerging star Michael Doleac. "Everything just clicked for us tonight. The basket looked 10 feet wide. Its just one of those nights ya know," said a sweating Doleac after the game. The 6 foot 11 inch 262 lb forward scored 0 points during 0 minutes of action but provided invaluable energy while sitting on the bench which Al Jefferson later said he fed off of during the entire game. 

Gerald Green chipped in 8 points off the bench. He got the crowd going during the 4th quarter with a spectacular dunk. Green took off from the half court line, jumping clear over Vince Carter, Jason Kidd, and Dikembe Mutombo before throwing the ball through the hoop with both hands. 

One thing that was made clear from tonights game is that Vince Carter sucks. Once this leagues most prolific dunker, Vince now settles for fade away jumpers 99 percent of the time, including free throws. 

Overall this was another amazing game by the Hottest team in the league. The Timberwolves are playing with the swagger of Swingers Vince Vaughn. On a side note, Al Jefferson scored a career high 40 points to go along with 19 rebounds. 

Timberwolves VS Boston

10 years from now, fans will look back on this game and see that the Timberwolves lost to the Boston Celtics by 1 point. However, anyone that actually watched the game will tell you that the T-Wolves actually got a well deserved moral victory.

Everyone deserves a pat on the back after this game except for Mark Madsen. My theory with him is that he is not technically even on the team. Its just that no one has the heart to tell him that he was cut 3 years ago. I normally wouldn't have a problem with this, but i assume he eats with the team, and that means he is taking away food that Corey Brewer could be putting in his mouth.

Back to the game. Unbelievable. Best game i have ever watched in my life. Antoine Walkers 3 point shot he made was amazing. I think it made every Boston fan wish he was on their team like before. Sebastian Telfair's 18 foot fingeroll was just another reminder of how the Celtics gave up way too early on a future hall of fame point guard. Don't even get me started on Al Jefferson. What a BEAST! By this time next year Jefferson will be averaging a triple double and be dating Jessica Alba.

The worst part of this game was having to look into KG's eyes and see all the hurt. You could tell by his body language and his 5 shot attempts that his heart is still in MN. He knows that Boston has no chance of making a title run, and longs to be back with the Wolves where every year he knew he would be competing for a championship. I love the guy and think he is extremely talented, but if he does not get traded back soon, there will be no chance of him ever winning it all.

The teams overall record is 7-35. This can be a little misleading though. If you factor in the close games they could have won and the moral victories, this team posts an impressive 40-2 mark. Not bad for a team that most analysts said would finish with the worst record in the league.

First Post

As the All-Star weekend approaches, i can no longer contain my excitement surrounding the MN Timberwolves. This has been the most entertaining season to follow in the history of this franchise. I can just see this team gaining confidence in themselves and would not be one bit surprised if they win out and make the playoffs as a 5 or 6 seed. Currently we are on a 2 game winning streak (about to be 3 after we beat Boston tonight) Al Jefferson has emerged as the top candidate for MVP and Sebastian Telfair is well on his way to most improved. Gerald Green is without question the 6th man of the year. Ryan Gomes will obviously get defensive player of the year. Marko Jaric will once again win the Keanu Reeves lookalike contest. Randy Foye will win the medical mystery award. Theo Ratliff will win biggest triceps. Corey Brewer will win a lifetime supply of Ritalin. Antoine Walker will win every award ever made. From top to bottom our team is amazing and has the potential to beat any team multiple times on any given night. Our jerseys are also the best in the league.

Well i cant wait for tonights game and i'll have much more to say after Al Jefferson proves once and for all who really got the better end of the KG trade.