This Just in: Suns will NOT make the playoffs

The sluggish Phoenix Suns are just 2 and 1/2 games away from being out of the playoffs. Ever since the Marion trade to Miami for "the big cactus" the team has been exposed.

With Marion, the Suns just seemed to be hard to beat. Without him, they are as fragile as my 92 year old grandma. People have all of a sudden realized that Nash turns the ball over and cannot play a lick of D. Raja Bell cannot do anything but make wide open jumpers 40 percent of the time, and play average D. Barbosa is quick, and.... um.. well he's quick. Every game, every minute, every step, Grant hill is that much closer to blowing out his ankle, and out for the remainder of the season. Amare is a stud, but he relies way too much on Nash to be affective.

Since Shaq has started playing for the Suns, they are 3 and 6. They went from outscoring teams by 7 points a night to being outscored by 3 points a night. They are still scoring the same amount, but their defense has gotten significantly worse. Isn't that the main reason as to why they Suns wanted him in the first place? To make them tougher in the paint? Teams are realizing that they can run on the suns due to their terrible transition D, and Nash's inability to guard anyone. Its not even Nashs' fault. I mean come on! He's a 35 year old, 6 foot 3 inch white guy, 170 lb, soccer player. Why would anyone expect him to even be physically able to play D? So Nash isn't the problem. He's never been able to play D but that didn't stop the Suns from winning the majority of their games pre-Shaq.

Yes thats right, the problem is Shaq. I personally am glad to see him struggle. True he is going through a rough divorce but i have a feeling he knew that was coming. What he didn't see coming was how much worse he would make the Suns. Fans went from shouting "Big Cactus" to shouting "Fat Loser-No one Likes You"

Denver with consecutive victories versus the Suns and Spurs are my prediction to get into the playoffs over the Suns.

Timberwolves VS Utah

After wrapping up their most impressive win of the season against the hottest team in the leauge, Timberwolves MVP Kirk Snyder only had one thing to say "I'm Back".

I must admit that i was wrong about criticizing the organization for trading away Gerald Green. After reflecting more on the issue i realized i hated Gerald Green. Not so much Gerald as a person, but Gerald as a head and a headband and the way that headband sat on his head. I mean talk about a downer.

Captain Kirk, as i will call him from this point on, demonstrated the ability to read and write, something Gerald never showed us.

On a sadder note, Mark Madsen is no where to be found. Rumor has it he is seeing Brittney Spears.

What were they thinking?

Are you serious? Trading away the future of our team for Kirk Snyder? Has anyone even heard of this player? I personally have not, so i googled his name. I pressed enter and "did you mean Burt Reynolds" came up. What the heck?!?!?! We traded away our 3rd best player for someone google does not even recognize as existing? I'm sorry but this trade makes no sense.

MN Timberwolves Update

First of all i want to apologize to all my readers for not writing the past week or so. Second off i want to say How about them Wolves!!!! Even though they are currently on a 3 game losing streak, spirits could not be any higher. The buzz in the locker room after todays game was that surrounding Greg Buckner. Greg was reportedly able to finally beat Pokemon Silver. As one can imagine, Buckner was all smiles as teammates and friends huddled around his locker congratulating him.

The Timberwolves lost by 23 points today. The playoffs are within reach.

NY Giants VS Patriots

What a good super bowl. Both teams played hard but in the end it was the Giants who came out on top. Al Jefferson to no ones surprise was named MVP of the game.

Timberwolves VS Clippers

Not much to say about this victory. It was easy. Predictable. Effortless. Al Jefferson, Randy Foye, Greg Buckner, Mark Madsen, Rashad McCants, and 2 assistant coaches were seen huddled around a portable DVD player midway through the 4th quarter watching Meet the Robinsons, while the rest of their teammates cruised to their second win in a row.

During 2 free throws by the clippers in the last frame, Minnesota's Corey brewer reportedly made a phone call. We were able to catch up with Tim Thomas to fill us in on exactly what happened. "Yeah, he grabbed a phone out of his shoe and made dinner reservations for after the game". Said a bewildered Thomas.

The Wolves have a couple days off before they take on the Yao Ming's.

No love for big Al

Its beyond me why Al Jefferson will not be playing in the all star game. There are only 2 players in the league right now averaging more than 20 and 12. He's second behind Dwight Howard in double doubles's. True he doesn't have a girl friend but i would hate to have that be the deciding factor. I have not seen a robbery of this magnitude since Meet the Robinson's was denied an Oscar nomination. You can bet your money that AJ will be playing the second half of the season with the passion of Christ.

Budding star Michael Doleac was also surprised of Al Jefferson's absence but even more over his own all star snubbing. "I thought i was a shoe in" said Doleac.

As for tonights game, its not on TV. More than likely due to the fact that Sam Cassell is hideous.

My prediction for tonights game is timberwolves 106-88. I also predict Chris Kaman will have a mental breakdown and confess to being the real killer in the OJ Simpson case.